Ok. So I have a son with Aspergers Syndrome. My son has a father that does not believe in the diagnosis and will not apply the tips and interventions that Jacob and I have learned help him. I also have a son who knows he has Aspergers Syndrome, although there are times that I wonder if he grasps the concept completely.
So today was a Monday after a weekend at Dad's where there is no schedule, no routine, no stability, no set bedtime. It actually was not a bad morning. We were ready early, without excessive nagging on my part to get him out of bed and ready to leave. I thought it would be a great day.
About 1:30, I got an email from his Teacher saying that he was not doing his work on a test that they were taking. She and the aid tried talking him into doing it but he was hearing NONE of it. He was not having a meltdown, just was sitting there staring into space. Great.
I was in my local office today so I emailed her back to ask if she wanted me to come out to the school. I didn't wait for her to answer, just took off for the school. When I got into the office, she was calling them to say send me down to the classroom.
By that time, Jacob has seen me pull into the lot and into the building. He hurried up to write three answers on the test. It wasn't that he didn't know the answers, he had studied over the weekend. He just didn't want to do it and said that his Aspergers was stopping him from doing it.
OH NO! Aspergers is NOT a disability in that it will stop YOU from doing what is expected of you. It means that you have to find a work-a-round to make your brain do it. We have spent many hours in therapy learning these work-a-rounds. When he is tired or off schedule in anyway, it is harder for him to remember to use these work-a-rounds.
What this means for me? Frustration for one. When I get an email from the teacher, I have to remember to have extra patience because it's possible that he cannot help himself and is just following what his brain tells him. His brain tells him to do things differently. I have to remember that when my first instinct is to go into that classroom, pull him out by his ear and read him the riot act for not doing what he was told.
I have to go in and quietly talk with him to find out if he has a valid reason for acting this way and we have to discuss how he can use a current work-a-round or if we have to make a new one. This also involves hugs and reassurances that I am not mad and he is not going to be punished.
I have NEVER been a patient person with anything or anyone, so for me this was a HUGE learning curve and I still have to work hard on it.
So, moral of the story, Monday's after the weekend at Dad's will invariably be fraught with problems. I need to take an extra patience pill!
